I posted about the typo that had someone "weeing my work" – well, here's the rest of the story...
Act I
A few years after moving into my home, every once in a while, but only on garbage collection days, a puddle showed up on my carport. This was back when the city collected twice a week and would pick up from your garbage can, wherever it was kept. My can was at the back of the carport, against the house – several feet below the kitchen window and to the left. There’s an outside room on the other back corner and shrubbery along the outside of the carport and completely around the rest of the house. That garbage can was only visible from the street, looking up the driveway through the front of the carport.
Whenever there was a puddle, I’d get a bucket of water and slosh it away. I reasoned that something gooey had dripped out of the garbage container that was rolled along to each can or that a dog had decided to mark territory. This went on for a couple of years until I had vinyl siding installed on the house. The day that they had put the gutter-like finishing strip along the bottom edge (the siding was installed vertically instead of in the usual horizontal orientation), I got home to another wet spot on the carport – and a liquid, a yellow liquid in that trim strip. This strip is about 15-18 inches off the ground.
I now had a pretty good idea what it was, but didn’t know if a decent sized dog or a person had done it. So I very carefully collected a sample from the ‘gutter’ using a straw and small medicine bottle. That was placed inside a zip-it-up bag and placed in the freezer. I took a trip to my veterinarian’s and asked how best to get my sample tested. He, looking somewhat bemused, gave me the name of the laboratory he used for his testing. The next day I gave them a call and found out it’s going to cost me $400 (and that was 18 years ago).
Well, that wasn’t going to be a choice. After some deliberation, I decided to put my video camera on a tripod on the kitchen sink aimed out the window, run cables to the VCR in the living room, and set it to record at the SLR speed, which would give me six hours of recording time. I didn’t have any other choice since I left for work before 8 a.m. and the garbage was normally collected near Noon.
I set the camera up, gave the narrow slat blinds on the kitchen window the proper downward slant and went outside to look. I knew the camera was there, but couldn’t see it. I went to Radio Shack to buy 25 foot cables and I was ready. I set the camera up twice the next week without result. The following week I set it up the first day – nothing – and the second garbage day I was running behind and almost didn’t bother. But I did and was glad I had, because when I got home for lunch, there was a puddle on the carport! I got that jittery feeling you get just after almost having a car accident. I rushed in the house, turned off the camera, turned on the television and started watching the video in reverse.
-- Intermission --
Act II
I was really excited my plan had worked! Well, it was the garbage collection man. The action in forward: wearing big gloves, he trundled up from the driveway, reached down to take the lid off my can, and then had a better idea. So he looked back and forth, took off his gloves, laid them on the can lid, and started to – and this is all out of sight – ‘fiddle with something’ in front of him. He steps toward the house, stands for a moment looking about a bit, and then starts ‘fiddling’ again. Then he turned and put his gloves back on, took the lid off my refuse can, grabbed my bag of garbage, put it into his big container and leaves the picture. And leaves his puddle on the carport floor.
My very own mystery solved. Now what to do? I picked up my cats and told them what a wonderful detective their mommy was, put everything away, had a quick bite to eat and went back to work. I knew my attorney didn’t get in from lunch until 2 p.m., and it was only 1:00. I was no good to my company at all that hour. I had told a very few friends what I was up to, and so had to tell those at work that my sleuthing had paid off.
Finally, 2:00 rolls around and I call my lawyer. As I tried to explain what had happened, what I had done, that I didn’t want to get the guy fired just have the unscheduled waterings stopped, she was laughing so hard while asking questions for clarification that she was slapping or pounding her desk or something. In any case, it was noisy on her end of the phone. It took a while for her to get the story straight. When we finally hung up she called the Chief of Police, who was the acting City Manager at the time. She reported to me later that she told the Chief that one of ‘his’ city employees had “p1ssed-off a city resident.” He supposedly said, “I’ll give you $100 for that tape!” I don’t think he believed the story.
I was asked to make a copy of the tape and give that and the frozen sample to my attorney so she could take it to City Hall. So I did and she did. The appropriate people gathered, watched the tape and identified the perp (I still wouldn’t know him if I ran into him because his face wasn’t clear on the tape). I was reimbursed for the tape I had copied to, told to turn in any claim for damages to my home (which I didn’t), and told to call if it ever happened again. My attorney had had so much entertainment with my problem that she didn’t even bill me for her time.
Five months later – another puddle. I called my attorney, she called the city, and it did not happened again – they must have told the entire refuse collection group that time. Now, many years later, the garbage is only collected once a week and we have to roll our containers to the curb, so there’s no real chance for it to happen.
That’s the story.
But it was much too good a story to keep to myself of course. It was told to lots of folk – friends, acquaintances, co-workers, members of clubs and organizations I belonged to. Of course, everyone wanted to watch the tape, or put it up for auction for this or that pet project, etc. When 'Funniest Videos' came out, people thought I should send it in. I’ve been good, though, and have only shown it to four friends in my town, and my family and close friends back home when I visited for the holidays at the end of the year it occured. I still have the tape somewhere, but would now be hard pressed to find it after so long. It did its work and was worth all the trouble – as much for the story to tell as for stopping the wizzing of my home.
The End